Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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