Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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