$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
