Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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