have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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