i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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