are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
