You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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