Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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