Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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