im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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