I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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