Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office