walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...