the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.