I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.