I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.