I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
