remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf