I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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