You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
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