And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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