I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
