I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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