I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
another moral hangover. fuck.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
