so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
