sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
