i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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