I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
