Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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