cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Welp...herpes.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize