1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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