Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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