it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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