Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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