I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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