hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
