we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
