I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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