They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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