i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
