So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
