There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today