no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor