I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.