I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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