im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
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He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
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Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"