...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?