im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I currently don't understand fingers.
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