he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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