i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
