I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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