Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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