Welp...herpes.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
