yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
