But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
