i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
