i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
