just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I touched a dick in church today
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