this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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