So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
