I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
why didn't you poke me back
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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