I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize