i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
