i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
