You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
