Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
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