If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize
