I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
