we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
