so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
