Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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