Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
